A number of you have come to sessions under the weight of sadness, or hope-lessening, or hope not seeming real, or safe, or any use.
The stories are varied, often long, without enthusiasm and as draining for you to say as it is for you to feel them.
It is deep in December, my dears, and on the cusp of the Solstice, the darkest time of the year (in the Northern hemisphere).
On top of that, this is the time of year of a blizzard of invalidation, a tsumani of oppressed, unowned and disowned emotions, misinformation, wrong conclusions and lies swirling around as thick as thieves, in the US especially.
Add to that a thick crust of cray cray cracked nuts topping and it’s a wonder anyone gets out of bed in the morning at all!
To all you darling Believers in whatever, this is the time of year when your deepest fears and harshest judgments get a lot of support, but not so you’ll fall for them again – so that you can banish them, once and for all!
Steve Martin has a great speech near the end of an odd-ball movie called Mixed Nuts.
It’s an early Nora Ephron movie that would naturally appeal to his “wild and crazy” side, as well as his thoughtful side.
The speech addresses how this time of year in our culture pumps the exaggeration button a million times a minute (my phrasing) and the exaggerations are not true; not to be believed. And that IS true.
Here’s some guidelines for you:
If you are feeling 15 kinds of crazy – it’s not your energy
If you are feeling like you are a loser, or a failure or it’s all your fault – it’s not your energy
If you are feeling like nothing good is true or believable – it’s not your energy
Whatever your most familiar, ie favorite form of hopelessness or helplessness or it all sucks, is now is the time to start to choose differently.
Do the experiment – imagine your brand of down is a bottle of booze, because you can feel yourself getting drunk of it, whatever it is – and when you notice that feeling coming over you, let that be your cue not to agree and succumb but to say, “Hey – may so, maybe not!” and choose YOU.
Here’s an example: say you’re telling yourself that you are not enough, and that you can’t get it together, or meet “their” expectations, at work or at home, and that “means” that you are a loser or failure or some such… And as you feel that familiar wash of your life-force energy leaving your body, instead of sinking like a stone, stop long enough to say and repeat – I CHOOSE ME. I CHOOSE ME. I CHOOSE ME. over and over again. Even if you don’t know what that means or entails – especially when you can’t even imagine what that means, you are making the most of that most powerful moment, and that will start to turn the tide.
The point of most power is Now.
Loving yourself NOW, choosing you NOW, being on your side NOW, no matter how clumsily, IS the turning point.
Your choice in the moment of most turmoil, the moment when you are most tweaked, the moment that you feel the most powerless, upset and unable to stand it anymore, THAT IS the moment of MOST power.
Here you are, in the midst of the holidays, the cray cray of work, unrealistic year end demands and expectations, family and all the history there, all the projections of past and present unhappiness and dissatisfaction – THIS is THE moment of MOST power.
The moment when your choices, your decisions about yourself, life, others, and what’s truly possible for you and your life is the most powerful.
You can whimsically call it the magic of Christmas, or if you have the misconception that whimsical is wimpy or not powerful or potent, you can call it the power of now, the power of spirit, the power of the Goddess. You can call it the power of your true, divine nature; your birthright. Or you can call it a long shot miracle, but no matter what you call it, do it.
The more you chose you
The more you chose to believe even when reason says there is not point
The more you chose Love – of Yourself before others, because you cannot give what you do not have
and the more you do this in the heat of the moment, the more you are forging a much brighter future for yourself, because it cannot come without your asking for it.
The Universe is always offering more ease, joy, money, love and glory than you ever notice.
Choose to start noticing. Now.
This Yule season, give yourself the gift that lights the world – love yourself. Choose YOU.