Have you ever heard the old, “Do you want to be right? or happy?”
This witticism is meant to add amusement to a commonly serious moment when someone’s egoist need to be right is pounding someone else’s right to be heard.
The ego is not a model I actively work with much because there are too many dogmas and judgments layered on to it, in most circumstances. But in this scenario, it will do.
The ego need to be right over someone else is from the body-energy of competition.
Competition by its nature means someone has to be a winner and some has to be a loser.
The need to win, to be first, to be right, to get the validation that you’re better than someone else is born out of a need to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. The bigger the hole, the more rampant the competition. This plays out individually as well as the common group mind of “We are the champions,” group hypnosis.
This caliber of need to be right does in fact warrant reeducation, more self-awareness, more self-compassion and action steps to navigate and re-channel the energy in the moment that it comes up, the moment of most power.
But that is just one kind of need to be right.
Another is the need for congruency.
While this need is visceral and vital to our sense of well-being and sanity, it is often overlooked and lumped in with the cliché.
The need for congruency runs deep.
Congruency is one of body’s prime directives and jobs.
Think of it this way – for you to navigate your drive into the unknown successfully and confidently, you need to know that you are heading in the right direction.
How do you know that?
- By the position of the sun telling you which direction you are heading in, and what time of day it is
- From the map telling you what direction to go in
- Knowledge of what streets and land marks to look for to verify you’re going the right way
In other words, you use your senses – sight, sound, touch, etcetera – to corroborate with outside stimuli of street names, land marks, length of shadows, what the map or GPS tells you, to know where you are going and if you are on the right track.
Sometimes our senses can tell us one thing, and our learned interpretation of what we are sensing tells us another. This sets up confusion in the system.
Confusion is someone else’s information conflicting with your own information.
For instance, your body says that that school teacher has it in for you, but the teacher and your parents say that the teacher just wants what’s best for you. This sets up a confusion in your system and you can either, 1. Agree with the authorities and betray your own senses, and then recalibrate yourself so that when you get “that feeling” you ignore it. This usually brings the most social acceptance and validation from the authorities. Or 2. You can keep believing your senses, and be perceived as the trouble maker, as difficult and uncooperative, and then when the teacher’s heavy handedness comes down, you will be perceived as having brought it on yourself.
This is a tricky thing – this is always played out in the gray areas of life.
But the need to know that your perceptions are accurate, that you are accurately reading the situation, is paramount.
A simple example of how we do this all the time is this. If your eye sight is blurry, a form of giving you mixed and inaccurate information, you naturally go to the eye Doctor and get a prescription for glasses that corrects your vision.
The glasses recalibrate your sense of vision to a reliable representation of physical reality.
This recalibration is needed to function.
When you have misinformation or wrong information in your senses, it is paramount that you find the right way to recalibrate your senses and interpretations of that sensory information.
In this case the need to be right is not about competition or powering over someone else, but about validating that your senses are calibrated properly.
Currently we live in a world that is in a tsunami of misinformation, old information, wrong information and disinformation.
Now more than ever it is important for you to know whether or not your senses are calibrated and interpreted properly or not.
And, have a way to make the necessary adjustments to get yourself recalibrated to your truth, what is right and true for you, and what you need/desire.
Being calibrated to your greater good and well-being first helps you sleep better at night, improved digestion, improves your career and social comfort level, your income and health, all manner of aspects of your life.
Once you are set to You, the spirit part of you, the infinite part of you, everything else can get easier, because you finally have a context large enough to thrive in.
Reminder – love is not an emotion, but action steps; a way of living.
And you are a full-on
co-creator of your life. NOW is the moment of most power, to break through and get free.
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