It’s never about the money, or time, or other people.
It’s always about your willingness and ability to receive.
When you make it about the money, the money has the power over you; over your well-being, health and happiness.
And when it’s about the money, you have to manipulate yourself to be what you think they want you to be/say/do, to get them to give you the money.
It’s shell game of manipulation and deceit. For the money.
So you are a victim to this amorphous, threatening, judgmental thing called money.
So money is the enemy.
It may be a thing that can wipe away all your problems, but it is withholding, and judgmental and if it doesn’t feel like it, if you can’t make it (manipulate by trick or rationalizing) come to you, then you are screwed.
Manipulation breaks down trust – it is un-trustworthy. Sacrificing your relationship with yourself, higher and lower, and your relationship with others, for money, can never get you the safety, serenity, joy or abundance you want.
Money may be a thing that can seemingly wipe away all your problems but that’s just the band-aid for a symptom.
Because under this current roaring fire of need and catastrophe is a history, a pattern of this urgency of impending doom.
Some thing(s) happened in childhood, and probably past lives, that imprinted this threat and impending doom in your system. Your nervous system, your very body chemistry got set to impending doom as the norm, as well as as the fail-safe.
You may be able to have some periods of things going well, of some peace and serenity, but that’s never the base line. The base line is the fear/panic/threat/doom, and you create situations and relationships in your life to demonstrate that belief – that life will threaten you, the rug will be pulled out from under you, the bad guys will return and wipe out your life – whatever your specific wording and flavoring is.
“I don’t ‘believe’ in that stuff, but that’s what keeps happening! I’m not creating this – this is exactly what I don’t want anymore! I do everything in my power to make sure this kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore, but it keeps happening!”
It’s not straight forward creating. It’s not like waking up and saying that you want mayhem and disaster that you don’t know if you will survive or not to happened today.
It is a belief so deeply held, backed by years of repeated experience, that says, “this is how life is. This is how my life is. This always happens. This will happen every time I start to feel better.”
This is the belief that, “because I keep seeing this, I am not creating this; this is just how things are.”
But things keep being this way, things keep happening this way because you believe, know and perceive that they will.
They keep happening this way because this is still held and valued as normal for you.
You don’t wake up one day and say I want to be in a car wreck today.
You wake up knowing that everything always happens to you, and it’s usually not good, but it is usually painful, expensive and disastrous.
You wake up knowing that the only way out of this problem is if you can get someone to give you the money one way or another and then you can feel better because everything is solved.
But then you get all this money, and the pressure is off and everything’s great – for a while.
But you still believe in, and have a history of evidence to prove that, the good is only temporary, and the tricky shit or the bad news or the Universe will find out and get back to conspiring the wreckage that you know only too well.
Some people’s cycles are 3 years, or 18 months, or 7 years.
Cycles may vary, but it is the belief, “based on experience,” that keeps it all in play.
And as long as you believe in the struggle, you cannot fully receive, since that would prove the belief wrong.
What if instead you make way for a new cycle, and more importantly, a new normal?
What if you could participate in all that back-ground chatter of beliefs, and change them… to turn the ship of your state into the wind for smoother sailing?
What if you could leave the norm-land of hectic-impending-disaster and move to the norm-land of peace, plenty and serenity that is only occasionally punctuated with the temporary excitement of something going wrong or a problem to solve…
What if you could move out of the land of adrenaline-fight-flight as normal, only occasionally punctuated with moments of peace and safety?
Would you be willing to lean to think differently? To reconsider all your allegiance to hardship? To finding new ways to value yourself, other than what you have overcome or can endure?
Because it is your loyalty and devotion to hardship and proving your worth through what you can endure, valuing yourself only for those kinds of accomplishments that keeps it all in place.
Plus you belief in hardship’s inevitability, its worth and value.
The Irish have a great saying that captures it all:
Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him
through temporary periods of joy. – William Butler Yeats
Don’t believe in the pain more than you believe in You – Infinite Being with this amazing body.