I have been at this for a long time, and yet….
I had dinner the other night with an acquaintance. As profession peers, we have crossed paths many times over the years and occasionally get together for a meal.
During the dinner I noticed I was getting impatient. That caught my attention since I had been looking forward to eating at this restaurant for a while.
I know from experience that my energy feels good, expansive, positive, upbeat, since I’ve had ample proof over the years that I am an infinite being in a body having a fantastic human experience (fantastic in both directions at different times.)
The irritation I experience in the restaurant got my attention, so while nodding and listening to my companion, I also asked inside- what is it? What are you trying to tell me?
Is she trying to get in my space? She is trying to find out what I’m thinking without being overt. Damn, that is annoying.
The body’s culturally engrained reflex is to resist, to become territorial and competitive, but I have learned that owning my space and not resisting is the surest way to make this a relatively stress-free experience.
So I stopped resisting, released any investment in what she said or meant, and in making my own points or being understood. After that it was more pleasant for me, and I’m not sure what it was for her.
But a few hours after I got home, I noticed my solar plexus area was a little tight, my breathing a little shallow, so I checked in again asking, what is it?
This time the answer was, “what if she doesn’t like us now?” Well, that’d be okay. Not fabulous, but okay.
Then I sensed into the energy further, in that neutral curiosity.
Do we have to be liked by everyone? Not exactly.
Do we have to like everyone? Not…. everyone. Just everyone we talk to.
Really? There’s a part that believes that we must like everyone we meet? Everyone we talk to? Ever?
The tightness answered – yes.
And I responded, “No, sweetie, we don’t. Any of you can dislike anyone you want to. Not every part of us has to like everyone we ever meet or talk to. You know it’s not about being stuck or nice or perfect, it’s about being honest and telling the truth. That’s it.”
The knot released and body drew a nice big breath, and relaxed.
“Really? We don’t have to like everyone we ever talk to? That’s okay?”
“Yea, that’s okay. You know that you don’t ever have to lie again – just say What Is and it’s all good. We will talk and come up with the right thing to do from there. You just need to tell the truth.”
And I wondered …. How long has that lie – that we have to like everyone we talk to – had been in operation, but I didn’t pursue it long.
I learned a long time ago that the questions we ask are the rudder, directing the ship of our experience down the stream of life.
Ask, “What’s wrong with me, them, this situation, etc.,” and you’ll get a series of answers that take the wind out of your sail and brings on dark clouds, dread and in time, fierce storms.
Ask, “What’s right with me, them, this situation, etc.,” and you’ll get a series of answers that enlighten, calm the seas except for playful winds and whitecaps that make the journey refreshing and invigorating.
Contraction and depression or expansion and empowerment?
I know which ones I choose, now.
But that’s after I allowed myself a long period of compare and contrasting, of digging the diamonds out of the pits, and learned how to listen to all aspects of myself.
Today, do yourself a favor. Let yourself know that your survival does not depend on your liking everyone you talk to, or everyone you meet liking you.
Even if you think it’s silly, even if you think you know better, even if you know you know better, tell yourself today – “We’re okay, no matter what. I am an Infinite Being having a physical experience and all the parts inside me have something valuable to contribute. Together, we’re okay.”
© Copyright Delia Yeager, May 2015, All Rights Reserved
A Spiritual Perspective